it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
