Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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