Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize