white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
