i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
