physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
