sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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