i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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