Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
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