I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
