it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
