with your own penis?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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