you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
