I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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