I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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