Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
