Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
