ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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