You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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