Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
