I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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