never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
