Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
