You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
