I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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