The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
When are your genitals available?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
