arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
