no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
