oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
