Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
