woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
