So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
