She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We have started to decorate penises.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
