But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
