Define "chronic" masturbator.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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