Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
