I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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