Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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