FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
