Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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