I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
