I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
