She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
