He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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