i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
