ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
