There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
