i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
