Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
