I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
