I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She has the best kind of daddy issues
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
wow bdsm is so cute
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